Business Philosophy Lover T-Shirts

The buck stops here briefly, then goes on its merry way

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

The little engine that could delegate.

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

Genius

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

"Leadership is about more than delegating all of your work."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

Worked Well In Groups...

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

'They say money can't buy happiness. Find out what can.'

'You said you wanted more responsibility, so I'm making you responsible for everything that goes wrong.'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

Primordial Schmooze

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

"The secret is to ask yourself: what would someone who's successful do?"

"No, no - I'm just looking for a balance of power that corrupts in moderation."

Who's In Charge Here?

'If i had my life to live over again... I'd make the same mistakes sooner'

'Consensus on a Friday afternoon...what a lovely way to begin the weekend!'