Industry Pundit Gifts

'It's a shut-and-open case.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'So I'll become a CEO of a dummy corporation.'

Davos.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Conservatives' Golden Economic Legacy

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

Euro fall...

Liquidity Lunch

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

"Anyone who opposes my proposal lift an arm!"

Jasper Coot: 'Osama shoulda named me to the Supreme Court! I ain't no judge, so I'm qualified! Hell. I ann't even a damn lawyer! But Lord knows, I am judgemental!

Foxconn: Outsourcer Outsources Outsourced...What?

"Apparently there's been a slowdown in China."

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

Maybe it's time to stop giving our bones to a broker and start burying them in the backyard again.

" ... and markets closed lower today on news that markets would close lower today."

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

Wall Street: Panic, don't panic

Al, you know how a lot of people in Britain regretted their decision to leave the European Union? I was just wondering if you ever regretted your decision to leave the human race.

A candidate makes their greatest impact on an interviewer in the first few minutes...

'What! Nobody thought to bring a paddle?'

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

Cards Galore.

Major Wall Street players.

'I need a loan that would make me too big to fail.'

Avoid talking about personal and domestic issues at interviews, unless asked.

'I'd like one of those loans I won't have to pay back.'

'Do I believe?? Listen, I believe in anything that generates $400 billion in annual sales!'

'Forget about it. What's to say that Frobisher's apples are any better than the hedge fund he used to run?'