Primitive Art Fans Gifts

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

"Steve wuz here. Steve iz here now."

And THEN you're going to hang it on the wall? That makes no sense.

Primitive magician

"The invention of taxidermy."

Giant Monster in Bath

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Ape ambushes anteater hiding behind a monolith.

Cave Painter

Jackson Pollock's short-lived career as a kid's party face painter.

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

Art Theft

"It's my first novel."

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

Early Cave Art

Early art critic

'Let's call it Frisbee...'

The invention of baseball.

"Do you think we could domesticate them?"

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

Half-price tighty-white day at the MoMA.

Olympic Rings

"What am I supposed to to do? It's my hunter-gatherer instinct"

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

Chicken and egg in a waiting room: 'Who was first?'

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

"I thought a kitten would be nice for a change."

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

It's called "fire"! Now we can compete in a global economy!

'They describe the end of the ice age as the Big Brownout. They lost more than 10,000 tonnes of mammoth steaks.'

'The trouble with being so primitive is that you have to say EVERYTHING in twenty-five words or less.'

An Early Power Point Presentation.

Feel All Floaty.