Primitive Arts Fan Gifts

An Early Power Point Presentation.

Primitive magician

"The invention of taxidermy."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

Ape ambushes anteater hiding behind a monolith.

Cave Painter

"Now do you believe me?"

"I think we should get a dog."

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

Early art critic

'Let's call it Frisbee...'

The invention of baseball.

"Do you think we could domesticate them?"

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

"What am I supposed to to do? It's my hunter-gatherer instinct"

"It's a quaint, one room, no bath, no half-bath, no basement, no windows, hole-in-a-boulder studio."

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

'We've got food, shelter and clothing.. and now you want DISHES?'

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

It's called "fire"! Now we can compete in a global economy!

"I thought a kitten would be nice for a change."

And THEN you're going to hang it on the wall? That makes no sense.

'They describe the end of the ice age as the Big Brownout. They lost more than 10,000 tonnes of mammoth steaks.'

"Steve wuz here. Steve iz here now."

True, it's a fixer-upper.

"I've always felt that 'caveman' isn't so much a job as it is a lifestyle."

'The trouble with being so primitive is that you have to say EVERYTHING in twenty-five words or less.'

Before the Domestication of Cows

"A radical and bold departure from the usual style and subject matter, Og, but it speaks to me,"

'You do realize these colours will look very different in daylight?'