Primitive Culture Fan Gifts

"Do you think we could domesticate them?"

Primitive magician

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

Ape ambushes anteater hiding behind a monolith.

"I think we should get a dog."

"Now do you believe me?"

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

"It's a wheeble or some such thing, but still no sign of a deoderant."

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

Early art critic

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

"What am I supposed to to do? It's my hunter-gatherer instinct"

"It's a quaint, one room, no bath, no half-bath, no basement, no windows, hole-in-a-boulder studio."

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

'We've got food, shelter and clothing.. and now you want DISHES?'

"Yes, the hunt is on, but we have time to escape! The last message from their spotter on the hill was 'wrong way you idiots!'"

Boomerang

"I thought a kitten would be nice for a change."

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

It's called "fire"! Now we can compete in a global economy!

'They describe the end of the ice age as the Big Brownout. They lost more than 10,000 tonnes of mammoth steaks.'

And THEN you're going to hang it on the wall? That makes no sense.

"Steve wuz here. Steve iz here now."

True, it's a fixer-upper.

"I've always felt that 'caveman' isn't so much a job as it is a lifestyle."

'Smoke signals, sign language, bird calls. . . enough of the social networking!!!'

'The trouble with being so primitive is that you have to say EVERYTHING in twenty-five words or less.'

Does this skirt make my grass look big?

An Early Power Point Presentation.

Before the Domestication of Cows

'It doesn't get any better than this!'