Primitive Culture Fans Gifts

'The trouble with being so primitive is that you have to say EVERYTHING in twenty-five words or less.'

Primitive magician

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

Ape ambushes anteater hiding behind a monolith.

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

Early versions of the new year's eve ball drop proved less popular among revelers,

"It's a wheeble or some such thing, but still no sign of a deoderant."

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

"I think we should get a dog."

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

Early art critic

The invention of baseball.

"Do you think we could domesticate them?"

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

"It's a quaint, one room, no bath, no half-bath, no basement, no windows, hole-in-a-boulder studio."

"What am I supposed to to do? It's my hunter-gatherer instinct"

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

"Yes, the hunt is on, but we have time to escape! The last message from their spotter on the hill was 'wrong way you idiots!'"

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

'They describe the end of the ice age as the Big Brownout. They lost more than 10,000 tonnes of mammoth steaks.'

It's called "fire"! Now we can compete in a global economy!

"I thought a kitten would be nice for a change."

And THEN you're going to hang it on the wall? That makes no sense.

"Steve wuz here. Steve iz here now."

'Smoke signals, sign language, bird calls. . . enough of the social networking!!!'

An Early Power Point Presentation.

Before the Domestication of Cows

Does this skirt make my grass look big?

"A radical and bold departure from the usual style and subject matter, Og, but it speaks to me,"

'It doesn't get any better than this!'

'You do realize these colours will look very different in daylight?'