Primitive Culture Fans Gifts

'The trouble with being so primitive is that you have to say EVERYTHING in twenty-five words or less.'

Primitive magician

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

Ape ambushes anteater hiding behind a monolith.

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

Early versions of the new year's eve ball drop proved less popular among revelers,

"I think we should get a dog."

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

Early art critic

The invention of baseball.

"Do you think we could domesticate them?"

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

"What am I supposed to to do? It's my hunter-gatherer instinct"

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

"Yes, the hunt is on, but we have time to escape! The last message from their spotter on the hill was 'wrong way you idiots!'"

"I thought a kitten would be nice for a change."

'They describe the end of the ice age as the Big Brownout. They lost more than 10,000 tonnes of mammoth steaks.'

'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'

"Steve wuz here. Steve iz here now."

'Smoke signals, sign language, bird calls. . . enough of the social networking!!!'

An Early Power Point Presentation.

Before the Domestication of Cows

"A radical and bold departure from the usual style and subject matter, Og, but it speaks to me,"

'It doesn't get any better than this!'

'You do realize these colours will look very different in daylight?'

'Wheel? Who needs a wheel! What we need is a COMB!'