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Early House Hunting.

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

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'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

"You've got termites."

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

'I'm only a millionaires, and there are over 260 billionaires!'

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

The Rudges' peaceful home

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"Want to put the house on the market so we clean it?"

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

Burying cash. 'You misunderstand when I said put your money in land.'

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

TRUMP

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'