Estate Dreamer T-Shirts

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'We'll take it!'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

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'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'If I lived there, the first thing I'd do is have my head examined.'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

The Rudges' peaceful home

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

"Want to put the house on the market so we clean it?"

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'Oh, look, honey - the master closet has a walk-in bedroom!'

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

'Nothing yet - that multi-storey is putting people off.'

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

"It's got a great view!"