Estate Dreamer T-Shirts

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'We'll take it!'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

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'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'If I lived there, the first thing I'd do is have my head examined.'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

Realty. Remember

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'The contractor didn't do windows.'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

The Rudges' peaceful home

"Want to put the house on the market so we clean it?"

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

TRUMP

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

"It's got a great view!"

A Victorian lion chair is given a tail.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.