Real Estate Dreamers T-Shirts

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"I also have two vacation homes; One in the foothills of Virginia and one in Sandals Jamaica."

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

"We'll up your medication and with any luck your delusions should significantly reduce!"

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

Turtle Home

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

Business plan.

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

"Want to put the house on the market so we clean it?"

'I believe in Santa Claus, and I believe in the guaranteed annual 10% return.'

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'

'Want a new house? Time to start groveling again.'

TRUMP

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

Burying cash. 'You misunderstand when I said put your money in land.'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

The housing market begins to deflate.

Your dream home

'That's the sort of home I've always wanted.'