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"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

One tends to the sick. The other manages a large estate. Interestingly, a caregiver and a caretaker are not on opposite sides of an interaction.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

The Rudges' peaceful home

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

"Want to put the house on the market so we clean it?"

TRUMP

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

The housing market begins to deflate.

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'

'Want a new house? Time to start groveling again.'

Burying cash. 'You misunderstand when I said put your money in land.'

"Is it right on the lagoon?"

'Just look at it! The lot alone is worth an underwater mortgage.'

'For sale'

"You want a cheap house in a nice neighborhood? -- Okay, why are you here really?"

'One day this will be someone else's.'

'I did think a few more of mine would've moved on by now...'

'One day, son, none of this will be yours...'