Property Mogul Dreamer T-Shirts

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Let's call him lucky!'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

'We really like your suggested target of us becoming 'richer than God if God won the lottery'. Any idea how we might get there.'

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

Early House Hunting.

'They're playing house.'

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

Real Estate Depression

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"When I grow up I'm going to become president and I'm going to abolish homework!"

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."