Real Estate Mogul Wannabe T-Shirts

"I heard they bought thousands of acres around here."

"If you like it you'd better act quick. 'Under the bed' got scooped up the moment it hit the market."

'Monopoly money surged ahead of the dollar today on the announcement of a large hotel complex planned for Park Place and Boardwalk.

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

World Economic Forum

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'They're playing house.'

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

Real Estate Depression

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

'Motivation...I want huge amounts of money. Vast amounts of cash.'

Business men's lunches: Tycoons ?25, On the way downers ?2.50.

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

Warren Buffett

"Want to put the house on the market so we clean it?"