Real Estate Hopeful T-Shirts

"No, it's not a foreclosure. It's my 'Going out of business sale!' Everything must go!"

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

The Day Dreamer.

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Do you have anything right on the beach, but not so near the water?'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

Real Estate Depression

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

"Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence."

"I'm getting a little itchy to redo the bedroom!"

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

"Want to put the house on the market so we clean it?"

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

House building chart (like steps).

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

TRUMP

The housing market begins to deflate.

Burying cash. 'You misunderstand when I said put your money in land.'

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

'He's building a yacht in his basement.'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'Our house is being staged. Dad says we've got a good shot at getting in - if we can pass the audition.'

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

"You want a cheap house in a nice neighborhood? -- Okay, why are you here really?"

'Instead of being just like Michael Jordan, I wanna be just like Barack.'