Presentation Ninja Gifts

The speech was almost interesting. People began to sit up and fake interest.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

For some reason, Bob's use of his favorite New Yorker cartoons to enliven his presentation wasn't getting the laughs he'd anticipated.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

Blue sky thinking

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

Trade Show Sherpas

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

Presentation skills.

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

The Card Flinger

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"