Presentation Ninjas Gifts

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'We appreciate your back of the envelope calculation, Mike. Now put a stamp on the front and send it to somebody who cares.'

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"Is this something that could hold till Monday, Chris?"

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

'Do you have an appointment?'

'Enough is enough, John! You've got to choose. It's either your job or me.'

"Do as many study days as you can."

Workaholic's Toilet

"Better than Chekhov"

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

"It's a stealth suit. So I can stay off the boss's radar."

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

Be the grass...

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

"They say you are a great warrior."

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

Ninja

Information War

"So if you don't mind, I'll just go ahead and read out each slide word for word in a droning monotone until you all yearn for the sweet release of death."

'Here's the problem. Our GPS system is in kilometers, not miles.'