Professional Development Ninjas Gifts

"Do as many study days as you can."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

Fitness Programme for babies

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'We appreciate your back of the envelope calculation, Mike. Now put a stamp on the front and send it to somebody who cares.'

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

"Is this something that could hold till Monday, Chris?"

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

"Number four wasn't bad, at least he removed his personal CD earphones for most of the interview."

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

'Enough is enough, John! You've got to choose. It's either your job or me.'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"It's a stealth suit. So I can stay off the boss's radar."

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"