Productivity Ninjas Gifts

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Time Is Money

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

Targets.

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

You are here

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

The other digital divide.

'He's still able to do the work of three committees.'

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

"She's late for her stress management course."

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

"I’ve got to wake up early so I’m just going to wear my clothes for tomorrow to bed."

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

Man being fed 'Get up and Go' on a drip.

'Do you have an appointment?'

'Stein, have you given any thought to using performance enhancing drugs?'

"I think I see the problem."

'These graphs represent productivity between free-range and cubicled workers.'

'Enough is enough, John! You've got to choose. It's either your job or me.'

Hour Glass

"Do as many study days as you can."

Accountancy

'He does all he can to keep from doing all he could.'

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

Workaholic's Toilet