Performance Ninjas Gifts

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"I didn't have enough fingers. I had to use a couple of toes."

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'Enough is enough, John! You've got to choose. It's either your job or me.'

"Do as many study days as you can."

'He's is in a bad mood tonight!'

Johnny O'Keefe and Jack Benny.

Ballerina and the light switch.

"Ma, I just wanted you to know that the kid whose mouth you washed out with soap dozens of times was today referred to by the New York Times as a 'profanely eloquent' playwright!"

Hipsters knit their beards.

"You people make me sick. Nonetheless, here's a little toe-tapper."

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

Living by the Clock

"The circus' new owner hired a catcher for us."

"Nana" Technology

One woman show

Ninja

'Here's the problem. Our GPS system is in kilometers, not miles.'

'All right, I wanna know which ones of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

Clown hitchhikes to circus

Fit-Bite

I have another call on this line that might be more productive.

Mary felt safer going to her car late at night now that she carried a spray can of lace.

'That's called the 'Mask of Tragedy.' Otherwise known as the last person whose cell phone rang during the opera!'

Ninja vs. the invisible man. . . or is the cartoonist just bein' lazy?

A couple watch a mime on TV surrounded by mimes.

Regulars' Earphones