Negotiation Ninjas Gifts

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Listen to me, John. Tell them this is our final offer."

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

I'm not going to form a union just so you can refuse my demands. Besides, I'm just one guy. Work with me. Sign up with the Service Workers of America, then demand to negotiate higher wages and more breaks. I'll refuse, lay you off, bring in scabs, then eventually hire you back after you take a pay cut and sign away your right to collective bargain. C'mon, please. I've waited a lifetime for these circumstances. I'll do it for a raise.

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

'So (Hic) what about another squillion IF I close the deal in three months?'

"The Olympics is a HUGE enterprise these days..."

...Let's talk about your sale's order.

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

Political Definitions: Brinkmanship

"I'm not asking for much. Just a small cost of self-respect increase."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"The meeting will come to order."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

A Quiet Rebuke.