Presentation Warrior Gifts

'As I gaze out upon this sea of smiling faces ... albeit sleeping ... but nevertheless smiling faces ... '

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Ban on Free Speech

Can do...No can do

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

Time for More Paperwork

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

In and Out Tray

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

Late/Too Late.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Blue sky thinking

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"