Powerpoint Warrior Gifts

'You should know I like sales presentations the way I like my soft boiled eggs: three minutes and you're done.'

'Get ready for Hank's guaranteed applause line - 'in conclusion'.'

"Sorry, Roger. The old laser pointer seems to be acting up again!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

Can do...No can do

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

Time for More Paperwork

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

In and Out Tray

Late/Too Late.

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

Barack Obama's To Do list.

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

A businesswoman's desk breaks under the weight of the 'in' pile

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"The good news is the company said I could work from home. The bad news is they made me take all my paperwork with me."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

'I'll be late for dinner Dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!