Powerpoint Survivor Gifts

Corporate urban legends

"Between you and me he's not the easiest man in the world to work for."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

Late/Too Late.

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

Getting through the week.

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".