Prenatal Journey Pillows

'How far along are you?'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"I'm so good at this!"

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

Biological Alarm Clock.

Birthing Ball

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

"Why are you special? Because I'm your mommy, and I'm special."

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

Obstetrics.

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

Hormones before and after pregnancy.

"Your baby is fine, but we're keeping her overnight as a precaution. Here's a loaner."

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

"That's my baby brother? Then why'd you eat him?"

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

Ultrasound. . . AKA: Womb Zoom

'I'm sure this is the right exit .'

"Now we get all our news from Nickelodeon."

'COME BACK..I NEED TO PUT YOU ON!!'

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'