Pregnancy Journey Pillows

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

"It's a woman."

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

A Woman Using a Mirror to Discover Her Weight.

Nurse at RedFox fertility Clinic is about to touch a computer when it says: Don't Touch Me - I Have a Headache!

IVF Clinic bed - 'And here we have the basis of our revolutionary new technique.'

"What an anti-climax. There are no official plans to declare the birth canal open!"

"After trying to start a family for so long, our doctor suggested a radical approach. . . sex! On every conceivable occasion.""

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Cry babies.

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'