Prehistoric Parenting Ponderer Gifts

'He's already taking hunting and fire building lessons. Do you think he's overscheduled?'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

65 Million Years Ago

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

"Were we expecting a baby?"

The Evolution Of Man.

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

'Mom says she has a souffl

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

So, that's bipedalism? It doesn't look very ergonomic.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'The dawn of woman' - Ape-women dance around giant bar of chocolate.

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

The first Homo Erectus