Prehistoric Parenting Gifts

Before birds and bees,

'Oh, my wife invented that -- it's for mashing potatoes.'

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

The first car accident.

Ancient Racing

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

The discovery of asparagus.

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

Those Were The Days

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

Early accounting scandals.

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

"Plagiarist!"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

A prehistoric football match.

'Now listen: The big hairy ones are the hunters, while the smaller ones with long hair are the gatherers...'

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'The dawn of woman' - Ape-women dance around giant bar of chocolate.

'Of course she can talk - She INVENTED talking.'

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

"That guys is stealing my data!"

"Too much club."

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

Mammoth Posing