Pregnancy Survivors Gifts

Husband for Sale- Pregnancy Forces Sale

"...until death do you a favor."

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"You try staying this this after giving birth two million times."

'Hold it!'

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

Chapter 10: How to extend your stay and throw your father's paternity leave application into chaos.

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

'It's a girl and she's an artist in her gestational period.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'Not to worry. Water retention is a common symptom of menopause.'

Mother's Whistler.

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

Hormones before and after pregnancy.

"I'm letting him soak."

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

"Sometimes I feel the only thing keeping us together is our fear of the children."

'I think i cried myself inside out!'

"The babysitter wants to know where you keep your vodka?"

'COME BACK..I NEED TO PUT YOU ON!!'

"What to expect when you’re expecting. Newly revised edition."

'Muriel had a traumatic experience at a topless beach -- she was sunbathing, and a toddler attacked her.'

Triplets

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

"And a mild sedative for the kid behind me."

"When they say to use protection... this is what you're protecting against."

"If I'd known it would last this long, I'd have settled for the edited highlights."

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"