Multiple Birth Survivor Gifts

Triplets

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"...until death do you a favor."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'Your wife has had triplets. I suggest you go home and get some of the sleep you won't get in the next several years.'

"Triple whammy."

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

"Early Father's Day Gift!"

Your Dinner Is In The Trout Stream

'Triplets? -- I want a second opinion!'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home.'

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

"What to expect when you’re expecting. Newly revised edition."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

'The sonogram shows that you are carrying twins. I think they're going to get along very well. They seem to be hugging.'

'So what's new?' 'Everything.'

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

Free the Downtown Three!

"Of course we'll still be friends...."