Post-pregnancy Journey Gifts

'I seem to have lost the body I had before I had children.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"I'm so good at this!"

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

'My obstetrician recommended I nurture it in the interest of science.'

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"You try staying this this after giving birth two million times."

Preparing for a new arrival

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

Biological Alarm Clock.

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

"Why are you special? Because I'm your mommy, and I'm special."

Please take a number.

Obstetrics.

'At this rate nine months is going to take forever.'

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I'll never watch Alien again!!

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

"We discussed a lot of options but decided on a water birth."

"Your baby is fine, but we're keeping her overnight as a precaution. Here's a loaner."

Hormones before and after pregnancy.

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

"That's my baby brother? Then why'd you eat him?"

'How far along are you?'