Maternity Journey Gifts

"Oh, look, they're having a fight!"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"I'm so good at this!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

The Elephant in the Womb

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

In the club.

Preparing for a new arrival

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

"Triple whammy."