Practical Philosopher Gifts

A person offers thoughts and prayers instead of doing something.

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

Philosophy - who said it has no practical uses

As Dumb as Dirt?

"I'm not looking for absolute wisdom. . . just enough to get by."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Thinking Gears

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Humans...What is their purpose?

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

Ban on Free Speech

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Historical memory is on life support.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

The Googler

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Voltaire

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

Jean-Paul Sartre

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'