Progressive Philosopher Gifts

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"I don't like the looks of that!"

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

Joined at the hipster.

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

"How is it gendered?"

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

Fight for Your Democratic Right to Be Ignored

The Revolution Will Not Be Organized

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

Labour moderates rallying cry.

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

Republicans Refuse To Raise The Glass Ceilings

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

'Corporations Sitting on a Mountain of Cash, and they're not Hiring!'

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

"I'll bet that in a few years, gender won't be a wedge issue like it is today!"

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

Restrictive Abortion Laws

'In a five to four decision today, the Supreme Court picked social justice over regular justice.'

'Well, looking on the bright side, there's only 10 of them.'

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

Political Analysis

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

"You are a Democracy! You are free! The sky is the limit!"

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."