Wartime Philosopher Gifts

"The way I see it, angst is the whole gestalt."

'Bloody warmongers!'

Tank with a 'How is my driving' sticker

Soldier: 'Shoot him?! I don't even know him.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Can that be right?"

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

"Oh my God -- I just remembered I can fly."

Elderly man at top of stairs with a revolver and an axe: 'I've completely forgotten why I came upstairs.'

'And remind your father to take out the chicken from the freezer and don't forget to do your homework.'

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

Man in a desert looks up to see a sand timer sprinkling sand below.

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

The unknown soldier: war grave.

Exercise and diet at the same time - open and close your refrigerator door 100 times.

Desert Island Gossipping

"I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days."

'Five minutes, Jean-Paul.'

'Half past zen.'

"Finally - a faith-based initiative I can embrace."

"It's better to have loved and lost..."

'Do you need me to remind you when your wife's birthday is too?'