Wartime Philosopher Gifts

Simple Problems Are Hard

"The way I see it, angst is the whole gestalt."

'Bloody warmongers!'

Tank with a 'How is my driving' sticker

Soldier: 'Shoot him?! I don't even know him.'

Wounds...

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Can that be right?"

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

"Oh my God -- I just remembered I can fly."

Elderly man at top of stairs with a revolver and an axe: 'I've completely forgotten why I came upstairs.'

'And remind your father to take out the chicken from the freezer and don't forget to do your homework.'

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

Man in a desert looks up to see a sand timer sprinkling sand below.

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.

The unknown soldier: war grave.

"Poop. I forgot my coffee mug was on the roof of the saucer."

Desert Island Gossipping

Exercise and diet at the same time - open and close your refrigerator door 100 times.

"It's better to have loved and lost..."

The hardest instrument to play second fiddle.

'Do you need me to remind you when your wife's birthday is too?'