Grand Philosopher Gifts

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"Good game."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"I'm here for the hair."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

Questions

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

Young Galileo

"It's one thing for the National Commission to comment on the quality of teaching in our schools. It's another thing entirely for you to stand up and call Mr. Costello a yo-yo."

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

Balding Autumn Tree.

"I like to consider Third Grade as just another life hack."

Mall of ages

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"