Poultry Philosopher Gifts

'What choice do we have? She knows too much.'

'It's because I'm so mysterious. Why did I cross the road? Did I come before the egg? Believe me, the chicks love mysterious men!'

The Hen Commandments.

The Rooster Comedian.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

Flea Philosophy.

'Tasty bird.'

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Hen Night

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

The poultry mania - Cochin China Fowls

Suddenly, the line went dead.

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

"I feel like a hallow shell of my former self."

'I think we're starting sex education too early.'

"And that, son, is where chickens come from."

'Polly want many things, but a cracker isn't among them.'

'Don't worry about retirement Irma: There's more to life than just laying eggs...'

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

Call it that if it makes you feel better, Bobo … but it's still a zoo, not a gated community.

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio.'