Poultry-professors Gifts

No, pal, I don't know if the chicken is free-range.

The Rooster Comedian.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

A classic example of Poultry in Motion.

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken replies: 'I'm free-range pal, I can go where I like.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"Mum, I've heard that Faberge eggs are very valuable. What kind of animal is a Faberge?"

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'