Insect Professor Gifts

'I find them ineffective myself.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Make a lot of money."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

University Soapflakes

U of Debt

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Extreme Sisyphus

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Bearded Leftie.

The Giamatti era

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

"You'll build another bug collection in no time."

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

'While Dionysus is indisposed, who wants to take over as God of Wine?'

Boy scout replaces Atlas during Bob-a-Job Week.

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

Teacher and students.

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.