Insect Philosopher Gifts

'Yeah, I know I'm generally recognized as the toughest butterfly on the block. . . But what does that really mean at the end of the day?'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

The Sensitive Dude.

"I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight."

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

'What d'you mean, you're a Republican?'

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

"Avoid hungry bears."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

'We HAVE to hire a nanny.'

"Hold on. I'll buzz you in."

'Well, as a matter of fact, I think you're a pinhead too!'

'I think we're starting sex education too early.'

'Polly want many things, but a cracker isn't among them.'

The Hen Commandments.

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"I have no head for show business."

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

Centipede Hokey Pokey. 'You put foot number 17 in, you put foot number 17 out...'

"One time, in Lima, Peru, I was nearly squashed by a taxi. So, you see, I understand what it's like. Do you enjoy Jeff Goldblum?" "The horsefly whisperer"

"That wasn't very funny!"

'I find them ineffective myself.'

'This should give the sociobiologists somethings to think about.'

"Turns out I'm not the wise old paramecium I thought I was."

'I cut the grass once, but it grew again.'

It's Not Easy Being Ant Boy....

"Probably midges"

"My wife says I'm incapable of forming an opinion of my very own. You've known me for years, Al. What do you think?"

"It's absolutely brilliant."

'you've been circling three days, and your prey won't die - what's your position, ethically speaking?'

'What choice do we have? She knows too much.'