Chicken Philosopher Gifts

"So much for Reincarnation!"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Chicken soup for the sole.

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

PET THEORIES

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Hard to follow...'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Don't look at me!'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'