Literary Chicken Lover Gifts

The Weekly Poultry Reading was Short-Lived.

The Rooster Comedian.

Silence of the Chickens...

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Can he come out and play?'

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'This race is simply too close to call.'

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

Seminal moments in Chicken History

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Babies come from WHERE?!"

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

A bit of Newlyn.

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

Free Range Chickens

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

Drink it! We've all had to sacrifice our kids for our careers in one way or another... And besides, you need the protein, Rock.

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'

'So, the egg WAS first.'

'Hey, look at this beauty... Man, I love those crunchy, well tanned sweethearts!'

Stonehens

"Mum, what is a nugget?"