Poultry Lover Gifts

'I know I don't have much saved up, but I really need to retire before the end of the month.'

Chicken Funerals.

A chicken funeral

Trimming the hedge.

'My freezer's on the blink again.'

Chicken Crematoriums: A Crematorium for Chickens using an Oven for cremating

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'...and they never write or visit!'

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

'Great news Darling: They're doing another round of fox-baiting...'

Bird flu.

Turkeys' eating and humans eating Christmas dinner in the same way!

'She lays Easter eggs.'

'I'm reduced to having to jog to get exercise: The farmer has clipped my wings...'

'Hey, look at this beauty... Man, I love those crunchy, well tanned sweethearts!'

'My children have never been mollycoddled. A couple of them have been coddled, but not mollycoddled.'

'I've got this incredible urge to cross the road...'

'You know, there's something really morbid about this.'

Mother chicken is sad to see eggs in the grocery store.

"The farmer steals our eggs every day! Why can't you stop him and defend us? You're truly useless!"

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"I'm going to be perfectly blunt with you, Mike. It's your nuggets."

Hen sits on golfer's ball.

Mystery Solved

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Silence of the Chickens...

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Can he come out and play?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"