Poultry Aficionados Gifts

Hen Behaving Badly.

Chicken Salesman

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

'This race is simply too close to call.'

Seminal moments in Chicken History

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'Tasty bird.'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

A classic example of Poultry in Motion.

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

A bit of Newlyn.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken replies: 'I'm free-range pal, I can go where I like.'

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

Free Range Chickens

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Hey, look at this beauty... Man, I love those crunchy, well tanned sweethearts!'

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'