Chicken Humor Lover Gifts

'Never try crossing the road during a rally.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Silence of the Chickens...

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

Dog on a Shelf.

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Can he come out and play?'

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

'This race is simply too close to call.'

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

Seminal moments in Chicken History

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

'Scary movie?'

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I didn't know which one to cross."

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Babies come from WHERE?!"

A bit of Newlyn.

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'