Critter Philosopher Gifts

I wonder if we can ask for the dinosaurs back?

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

PET THEORIES

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Hard to follow...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Dogs are men."

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"