Critter Philosopher Gifts

I wonder if we can ask for the dinosaurs back?

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

Cat Reunion

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

PET THEORIES

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Hard to follow...'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Don't look at me!'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Dogs are men."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"How do I get down?"

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"