Animal Philosopher Gifts

Flea Philosophy.

"Whoa, listen, Wilbur, I've got existential problems of my own."

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"

I keep trying to tell that dog that giving unconditional love leaves you nothing to bargain with.

Call it that if it makes you feel better, Bobo … but it's still a zoo, not a gated community.

Vegetable Soup for the Soul

"I realize now that everything in my life has led up to this moment."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Cat Reunion

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

PET THEORIES

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'Hard to follow...'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Don't look at me!'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Dogs are men."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"How do I get down?"