Animal Philosopher Gifts

Flea Philosophy.

"Whoa, listen, Wilbur, I've got existential problems of my own."

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"

Vegetable Soup for the Soul

"I realize now that everything in my life has led up to this moment."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Cat Reunion

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

PET THEORIES

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'Hard to follow...'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Dogs are men."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'