Animal Kingdom Philosopher Gifts

"If you ask me, he has an overdeveloped sense of entitlement."

"I've always been a legman myself."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

Cat Reunion

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Yes, one is a dog."

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

Thug life on safari.

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Dogs are men."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Well it looks like we're all here."

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

The Inner Dog.

'I've gone from King of the Jungle to team leader.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

Food chain.