Animal Philosophers Gifts

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Cat Reunion

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"Yes, one is a dog."

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Dogs are men."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

The Inner Dog.

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

"You need a hobby."

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

"I did the math, and I'm telling you I have two left!"