Cat Philosopher Gifts

'I told you to keep quiet about not liking cats...' (Animal Rights protesters outside the house)

"I did the math, and I'm telling you I have two left!"

I have no space to 'think outside the box'."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Cat Philosophy

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"First date hairball... awkward."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

Cat Reunion

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

PET THEORIES

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

'Hard to follow...'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Dogs are men."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

Sober Tooth Tiger