Cat Philosopher Pillows

'I told you to keep quiet about not liking cats...' (Animal Rights protesters outside the house)

"I did the math, and I'm telling you I have two left!"

I have no space to 'think outside the box'."

I know this is the first day of the rest of my life, but if were a cat, and I had nine lives, would that make this the first life of the rest of my day

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Cat Philosophy

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"First date hairball... awkward."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

PET THEORIES

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

'Hard to follow...'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'Don't look at me!'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"Dogs are men."

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"