Cat Theorist Gifts

"I guess I could include the box... But why would you want it, Mr. Schrödinger?"

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

PET THEORIES

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Hard to follow...'

'Don't look at me!'

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"How do I get down?"

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"Son, the key to a happy marriage is listening, or at least purr and pretend you are."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"You must now empty the Kitty Litter of your mind."

"My one regret is not napping more."

'Well, so much for that theory!'

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

Zen Kitten

"In this piece, Muffy uses broad, vigorous strokes in a passionate expression of feline angst."

'. . . I can see why people might believe in reincarnation but if you're already a cat - what's the point?!'

"Any thoughts about pilling yourself?"

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

What if cats talked dirty...

"The human is back - act normal."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"If you must know, like most cats I'm a registered Independent!"

"What have you done?"

"I'm not buying it."